Predicting Trump’s Twitterfeed throughout 2017

By Harry Gardiner

20th January 2017

I’m going to go ahead and say it; we’re living in the darkest time. 2016 left us all shook. It claimed more notable obituary listings than a plasticine death-match, and somehow lead to an outspoken hatemonger being awarded one of the most powerful positions in the world.

Embodying the real life cross between Gordon Gecko and the Judge from Pink Floyd’s The Wall, Trump is known (amongst many other things) for his willingness to express his unbridled opinion via the very public medium of Twitter.

He’s never been one to shy away from tweeting his take on the media, current affairs, showbiz and just about anything. Given that, and the fact that today he gains Presidency (words it still horrifies me to write), I thought it’d be interesting to look forward and predict what 2017 holds for Trump’s divisive Twitterfeed.

It should go without saying, but the below is of course all parody. Neither Eulogy nor I write for Trump’s social accounts. If we did they’d be much better written, and a lot nicer.

The Inauguration
One what is likely to be the biggest day of his life, we can expect Trump to be in full force on Twitter:



Superbowl LI
Lady Gaga will be giving the half-time performance at the 51st Superbowl; will she use her platform to speak out against Trump?


Valentine’s Day
The most romantic day in the world will be a great time for Trump to show his sensitive side:


For this year’s Oscars, it’s likely that Jimmy Kimmel will take a cue from the fantastic Golden Globe speeches, and it’s likely that Trump won’t take it well.


Cinco de Mayo
Trump has a great working relationship with the Mexican community; the kind of special relationship that comes from calling people rapists and telling them they’re going to pay for things they never asked for.


Independence Day
I’d pay to see an Independence Day remake with Trump as president. We would have lost so hard.


Presidential Visits
We can probably expect Russia, America’s new best friend, to pay Trump a few visits, but will they get the warm welcome they deserve?


The spookiest day of the year will likely lead to a creepy tweet from Trump.


Thanksgiving is the perfect time to be thankful for everything we have. What do you think Trump will be thankful for?


By Christmas, the world would have enjoyed almost a year of President Trump. If we’re all still alive by then, I imagine he’ll be sure to send out a resounding message of seasonal hope and togetherness.


Tweet Fatigue
That’s just a small selection of what we can expect from the very-soon-to-be US president, but be sure to tweet me your suggestions of what you think Trump will say. Also, if you enjoyed these, you’ll likely love this list of outrageous tweets he has actually sent.